Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The role of the husband in the Bible starts with leadership, but encompasses provision and protection. A husband will never influence his wife if he does not care for her.
He can demand and she may follow as a result, but he will never truly have her heart unless he provides for her needs, cares for her well-being, and protects her both physically and spiritually.
The role of the husband in the Bible is fulfilled through the heart of companionship.
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,
and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body.
‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’
This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
There is a story of a man who died and went to heaven to find two signs above two different lines.
One sign said: "ALL THOSE MEN WHO HAVE BEEN DOMINATED BY THEIR WIVES, STAND HERE." That line of men seemed to stretch off through the clouds into infinity.
The second sign read: "ALL THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN DOMINATED BY THEIR WIVES, STAND HERE." Underneath the sign stood one man.
He went over to the man, grabbed his arm and said, "What's the secret, how did you do it? That other line has millions of men and you are the only one standing in this line."
The man looked around with a puzzled expression and said, "Why, I am not sure I know.
My wife just told me to stand here."
We have all heard jokes about "who wears the pants in the family." Yet leadership in the home is no laughing matter.
During the last few decades our culture has redefined the meaning and responsibilities of men and women in society and in the home.
Many men are confused and insecure. Many do not know how to act in the home. Growing up, they lacked a good model for leadership at home and have no mental picture of what it means to lead a family.
Consequently, they do not lead effectively, or they do not even try.
Increasingly, many men are becoming passive in the home. They've decided that the easiest thing to do is nothing.
The simplest thing—with the smallest risk—is to stay on the fence with both feet firmly planted in mid-air and let the wife do it.
When a man is married to a strong wife who will take over, he often lets her do just that.
Fortunately, there is an answer. The Scriptures clearly give us the model for being a man, a husband, and a father. I call that model the "servant/leader."
I hope that the concepts I share will help you understand the biblical role of a husband more clearly than ever before.
When correctly interpreted and applied, these concepts not only result in freedom for the husband and wife,
but will also help you work better as a team to combat isolation and conflict in your marriage.
Compliments from www.familylife.com